Too Close, Too Far, and Everything in Between
- Angel Everard
- Jan 2
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 8
Ever have the unsettling thought:
I might be the worst possible person to make this decision.
Not because you’re unqualified.
Not because you don’t care.
But because you’re either too close… or too far away to see clearly.
It happens more often than we realize—and almost always without us noticing.
Our brains are remarkably good at convincing us we’re being objective, especially when objectivity would require us to pause, listen, or question our own perspective.
When You’re Too Far Away
An organization brought in a new CEO who wanted to better align its mission, vision, and values around supporting underserved communities.
A good goal.
An important goal.
One that aligned with the organization’s long-term direction.
So leadership did what leadership tends to do.
They formed a group.
Meetings were scheduled.
Calendars filled.
Language was discussed thoughtfully and revisited often.
The team included all of the organization’s chief-level leaders and the director of marketing, Abby, who spent months listening to the lens through which these values were being shaped.
One day, Abby chose courage.
She asked some simple questions.
“Would you say everyone in this room is doing okay financially?”
Heads nodded.
“You have food in the fridge, can pay your bills on time, reliable transportation, access to good healthcare?”
More nodding.
Then she asked:
“Do you think we are the right people to create language meant to deeply resonate with underserved communities, given where we sit?”
Silence.
Not awkward.
Not defensive.
Just the realization that good intentions and lived experience are not the same thing.
The leaders meant well. Their mission was honorable. Their commitment was real.
But they were too far removed from the reality they were trying to represent.
And distance matters.
You can’t intellectualize your way into empathy.
You can’t workshop lived experience.
And no amount of careful wording can replace understanding that hasn’t been earned.
When You’re Too Close
The opposite problem shows up just as often.
A leader once insisted on keeping a legacy product alive far longer than it deserved: an ergonomic keyboard with a built-in mouse.
The data was clear:
Usage was declining
Support tickets were increasing
Newer, simpler alternatives were outperforming it in both satisfaction and revenue
But this wasn’t just a product.
It was his product.
He had championed it early.
Fought for funding when others questioned it.
Defended it in executive meetings and built a team around it.
Over time, the product became less of a business asset and more of a personal achievement.
So when the recommendation came to sunset it, the conversation subtly shifted.
The data was suddenly “incomplete.”
The market “wasn’t ready.
”The decline was framed as “temporary.”
The question quietly changed from: Is this still serving our customers?
To: What does this say about me if we let it go?
Months passed. Resources remained tied up. Teams continued to support something customers had already moved on from.
Opportunity cost accumulated quietly:
New initiatives delayed
Teams stretched thin
Innovation slowed
Eventually, the decision was made anyway.
It always is.
But by then, the organization had paid twice:
Once in dollars
Once in momentum
The leader was capable.
He had the best intentions.
He was simply too close.
Too invested to see clearly.
Too attached to evaluate objectively.
Too focused on protecting past wins to recognize when they had become present-day liabilities.
The Leadership Trap
Leadership requires ownership—but not identity fusion.
When a decision becomes a referendum on your worth, objectivity has already slipped away.
The hardest leadership moments aren’t about choosing between right and wrong.
They’re about choosing between:
What once defined you
And what the organization needs now
And the moment you find yourself defending something more than you’re evaluating it…
That’s usually the sign you’re standing too close.
How to Avoid This
A few practical guardrails for leaders:
Check proximity before decisions
Ask whether you are personally invested or completely removed. Both distort judgment.
Separate identity from outcomes
Letting go of something doesn’t erase your contribution. It often confirms your growth.
Invite perspective, not just agreement
If everyone in the room shares similar experiences, the perspective is incomplete.
Pay attention to defensiveness
When curiosity turns into justification, pause. That shift is information.
Borrow lived experience intentionally
Talk to customers and frontline employees who live the reality daily—not just quarterly.
Leadership isn’t about always standing at the center of the decision.
Sometimes it requires stepping closer.
Sometimes stepping back.
And sometimes it requires recognizing that the very place you’re standing is what’s blocking your view.
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