Perpetual Waiting: The Surprisingly Effective Way to Stay Exactly Where You Are
Ever feel like you’re always waiting?
Waiting for the position to open.
Waiting until you have “a little more experience.”
Waiting for your challenging coworker or boss to finally leave. You’ve already mentally planned their farewell party, and they haven’t even applied anywhere.
Waiting to finish that next big assignment before asking for a raise.
Waiting for someone to notice how much extra work you’ve taken on.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with patience. We’re taught that patience is a virtue.
But somewhere along the way, patience can turn into perpetual waiting, and those are two very different things.
Patience says, I’m working toward something.
Perpetual waiting says, Surely something will eventually happen if I sit here long enough.
Unfortunately, careers do not operate like deli counters. There is no little paper ticket guaranteeing your number will eventually be called.
Meet Vince
Vince had been in the same position for almost ten years.
Not because he loved it so much that he couldn't imagine doing anything else. Vince wanted to move up.
And over those ten years, the position above him opened more than once.
Each time, Vince considered applying.
And each time, Vince became his own extremely effective anti recruiter.
I probably don't have enough experience.
Someone else will have more education.
I should work on a few things first.
I'll be more prepared next time.
Vince could talk himself out of an opportunity faster than HR could post it.
So he worked on those things.
He gained more experience.
He took on more responsibility.
He learned more.
Then “next time” arrived.
And wouldn't you know it, Vince had developed a brand new list of reasons he wasn't qualified.
There was always something.
One more skill.
One more year.
One more project.
Maybe a certification.
Perhaps a doctorate.
At this rate, Vince was going to need a Nobel Prize before he felt comfortable clicking “Apply.”
The problem wasn't that Vince kept getting rejected.
Vince wasn't being rejected at all.
He was rejecting himself before anyone else had the opportunity to say yes.
Then There’s Sandra
Sandra was a star performer.
She handled the difficult projects. The complex assignments. The random “we need someone we can trust with this” work that somehow always found its way to her desk.
And Sandra didn't just occasionally stay late.
She worked overtime nearly every week just to keep up with the demands of her position.
But Sandra was salaried, so those extra hours came with exactly zero extra dollars.
Ten extra hours this week? Same paycheck.
Another late night finishing the project everyone needed by morning? Same paycheck.
Weekend work because there simply weren't enough hours in the week? You guessed it. Same paycheck.
Sandra had essentially enrolled herself in an unlimited hours subscription plan, and her employer was getting a fantastic deal.
Management relied on her.
They trusted her with important assignments.
They knew she would get things done.
And Sandra believed she deserved to be paid more.
There was just one tiny problem.
She never actually asked.
Before every major project, Sandra made herself a promise.
After I finish this one, I'll ask for a raise.
Project completed.
Another project arrived.
Okay. After this one.
That project ended.
Maybe during my review.
Review came.
Sandra received glowing feedback, a heartfelt “we couldn't do this without you,” and approximately the same paycheck.
So Sandra went back to work.
And back to the extra hours.
Surely there was one more accomplishment that would finally make the conversation easier.
There always was.
Sandra had essentially created a rewards program where she accumulated accomplishments but never redeemed the points.
And her employer had very little incentive to remind her that the points existed.
She kept waiting for the perfect accomplishment, the perfect timing, or the perfect opening in the conversation.
But perfection is incredibly convenient when you're afraid to ask for something.
There is always one more accomplishment you can wait for.
And there will always be another project willing to accept your extra hours while you do.
Marcus Decided to Wait Them Out
Marcus had a boss who made every workday feel approximately three hours longer than it actually was.
She micromanaged everything.
She asked for updates on projects he had already updated her on.
She changed direction halfway through assignments and then seemed genuinely surprised when deadlines moved.
Marcus was miserable.
But Marcus had a strategy.
He was going to wait her out.
She'd been with the company for a while. Surely she would move on eventually.
Maybe she'd get promoted.
Maybe she'd find another job.
Maybe she'd suddenly discover a lifelong passion for alpaca farming and disappear into the mountains.
Marcus wasn't picky.
He just needed her LinkedIn status to say “Excited to announce...”
So he waited.
And complained.
And waited some more.
Every unexpected meeting invite sparked hope.
Maybe this is it.
Every time she took a day off:
Job interview?
Every mysterious calendar block:
PLEASE BE A JOB INTERVIEW.
Then one glorious Tuesday, the announcement came.
His boss was leaving.
Marcus could practically hear the angels singing.
Finally.
Freedom was coming.
A few weeks later, her replacement arrived.
And somehow...
He was worse.
Marcus had apparently used all three wishes incorrectly.
The micromanaging disappeared, but now he had a boss who barely communicated at all.
Priorities changed without explanation.
Decisions weren't made.
Problems lingered because no one wanted to address them.
Marcus had spent two years waiting for one person to leave, believing that person was the only thing standing between him and happiness at work.
Then she left.
And Marcus realized something uncomfortable.
He had handed someone else complete control over whether his work life got better.
The difficult coworker might quit.
The bad boss might leave.
Leadership might finally notice the problem.
And the person who schedules Friday meetings at 4:00 p.m. might eventually discover basic human decency.
Maybe.
But building your career around any of those things happening is a risky strategy.
So What Are We Actually Waiting For?
Vince was waiting until he felt qualified enough.
Sandra was waiting for the perfect moment.
Marcus was waiting for someone else to change his circumstances.
Different situations. Same problem.
Sometimes waiting is strategic. Maybe you genuinely need more experience. Maybe the timing really is terrible.
But sometimes waiting is just fear wearing business casual.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of failure.
Fear of hearing no.
Fear of discovering you're not ready.
Or fear of making a change because, as frustrating as your current situation is, at least you're familiar with this particular flavor of frustration.
So we create conditions.
I'll apply when...
I'll ask after...
I'll make a move once...
I'll see what happens when they leave...
And those conditions have a funny way of moving.
One more project becomes two.
One more year becomes three.
Suddenly Vince is still preparing to apply, Sandra has enough unused accomplishment points for a free flight to Europe, and Marcus is studying Boss Number Two's LinkedIn activity for clues.
Stop Waiting
Apply for the position.
Ask for the raise.
Have the conversation.
And if you're waiting for someone else to leave before deciding what to do with your career, ask yourself:
What if they don't?
Better yet:
What if they do and nothing changes?
You might apply and hear no.
You might ask for the raise and hear no.
You might have the conversation and discover there isn't a path forward.
Good.
Now you know.
A no gives you information. Waiting gives you another year of wondering.
And information gives you something waiting never will.
A decision.
Maybe you develop another skill.
Maybe you ask again.
Maybe you stay.
Maybe you go.
But at least you're moving.
Because there will always be another project to finish, another reason you're “not quite ready,” another boss who might leave, and another mysterious organizational restructure that everyone swears is coming but nobody can actually explain.
You don't need to wait for all the stars to align.
You just need to stop making “someday” the plan.
Raise your hand.
Make the ask.
Make the move.
Your career is far too important to spend it waiting for your number to be called.
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